DC Metro Area Weekend to Remember Events
National Harbor, MD, February 12-14, 2010
Baltimore, MD, February 19-21, 2010
Reston, VA, March 12-14, 2010
www.familylife.com/groups/mwro
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
HOMEBUILDERS NEAR YOU
HomeBuilders Sessions are in your area!
First Baptist Church of Lansdowne
Baltimore County
410-242-7730
LifePoint Church
Reisterstown, Maryland
410-239-4700
Monocacy Valley Church
Ijamsville, Maryland
301-865-9100
New Life Wesleyan Church
LaPlata, MD
301-609-8423
New Psalmist Baptist Church
Baltimore City
410-945-3000
White Plains Baptist Church
Pomfret, Maryland
301-932-3994
If would like to add your HomeBuilders Group to this list, please contact The Purcells at healthymarriages@gmail.com
First Baptist Church of Lansdowne
Baltimore County
410-242-7730
LifePoint Church
Reisterstown, Maryland
410-239-4700
Monocacy Valley Church
Ijamsville, Maryland
301-865-9100
New Life Wesleyan Church
LaPlata, MD
301-609-8423
New Psalmist Baptist Church
Baltimore City
410-945-3000
White Plains Baptist Church
Pomfret, Maryland
301-932-3994
If would like to add your HomeBuilders Group to this list, please contact The Purcells at healthymarriages@gmail.com
Monday, June 8, 2009
Our Testimony - HomeBuilders Team Leaders - The Purcells
My Story: Finally Doing Marriage God's Way by Maria Purcell
Dating Derrick was a joy. We not only spent time getting to know each other, but also attended church events together and participated in community outreach projects. His proposal was planned and very romantic. We prepared a marriage ceremony and reception that gave God the glory, and we thought that our life together would be great.
But there was a problem: We had no idea how to be married. Reality set in after our honeymoon.
Derrick had the “I am the king of this house and you will serve me” syndrome. After being single for 33 years, he wanted all of the attention on himself. His parents had always praised him and he expected the same from me. He said that he felt like he received more respect at work and from friends than he did at home.
Derrick and Maria Purcell
I had been a single mom for years and had worked hard raising my girls all alone. I wanted to be “queen of the house” and felt like my king should serve me. I thought I deserved this after doing things for myself and everyone else for so long. I wanted Derrick to do life my way while pampering and spoiling me.
We didn't recognize God in our marriage, but pretended it was perfect when we were in front of our friends or at church. We lived more as roommates and didn't know how to compromise. Working at marriage was foreign to us. We thought since we were Christians, marriage would just work itself out.
Neither of us was willing to budge—we were both very stubborn and selfish.
To make matters worse, our marriage began with three children. They felt that the attention they had received all of their lives was going to someone else. Neither of us anticipated the challenges of a blended family, and we didn’t have the tools to make the situation any better.
After four years of an unhealthy and weak marriage, I heard a radio advertisement for a Weekend to Remember® marriage conference. I thought that we should give it a try. Derrick agreed to attend and told me, “Now you will see that I am right and you are wrong.” And I just knew that “now Derrick will see that he’s the reason our marriage isn’t working.”
An eye-opener
When Derrick and I attended the Weekend to Remember in Hunt Valley, Maryland, we both wanted to make our marriage work. After the sessions on Friday night I thought, Oh, God, this is beautiful. We’re going to work it out.
The conference was an eye-opener for Derrick and me. We learned that we were each other’s gift from God and that the Lord needed to be at the center of our relationship. Although we received so much wonderful information at the Weekend to Remember, we were afraid that things would go back to the way they were when we got home.
A turning point occurred at the conference when we participated in a sample session of the HomeBuilders Couples Series® (FamilyLife’s small group Bible studies). At that point we started getting excited about our future. We had been living a lie for so long, pretending we were happily married. We decided that HomeBuilders was the follow-up that we needed. The study was fun—not intimidating. And we knew that it would give us an opportunity to meet with other couples. When we won a HomeBuilders starter kit at the conference we thought, “This is absolutely from God.”
We started our first HomeBuilders group in May 2007 with some friends. When we told the couples about our struggling marriage they said, “We would never have believed it.” Until that day, we hadn’t shared about the things that we had been going through. We had been ashamed and hadn’t known how to fix our marriage problems until we attended the Weekend to Remember. And then HomeBuilders reinforced what we had learned there.
Derrick and I have facilitated many different HomeBuilders groups in the last two years. As new HomeBuilders directors for the Maryland and Virginia areas, our goal is to spread the word about HomeBuilders, help get groups started, and encourage them to move into other HomeBuilders studies. One couple has joined our team, and they now facilitate sessions on their own. Like us, they are passionate about helping marriages stay strong and healthy through HomeBuilders.
Serving God first
Today Derrick and I know how to laugh together. We know how to strengthen one another. We’ve learned that our marriage is not about me wanting him to make me feel good or about him wanting me to make him feel good. We’ve each had to make the decision to serve God first.
In serving the Lord I’ve learned to serve my husband. I’ve learned to accept Derrick unconditionally and now allow him to be the man of God and the leader of our home that God has called him to be. In doing this I not only gained a husband, but also gained a friend. I had to let go of myself to receive what the Lord had for me.
I’d describe our marriage today as very harmonious. Yes, there are issues from time to time ... there will always be something … but Derrick and I know what to do when those issues come up. We’ve learned that we have to come together when it gets all rough outside and that everything will be okay when we are anchored in Christ.
Sometimes I sit back and think, My God, I cannot believe that we have come this far. Derrick and I were two very strong-willed people who just would not budge. But now we have the tools to make our marriage work. We’ve learned to do marriage God’s way. And we are sharing what we've learned with everyone we meet!
Dating Derrick was a joy. We not only spent time getting to know each other, but also attended church events together and participated in community outreach projects. His proposal was planned and very romantic. We prepared a marriage ceremony and reception that gave God the glory, and we thought that our life together would be great.
But there was a problem: We had no idea how to be married. Reality set in after our honeymoon.
Derrick had the “I am the king of this house and you will serve me” syndrome. After being single for 33 years, he wanted all of the attention on himself. His parents had always praised him and he expected the same from me. He said that he felt like he received more respect at work and from friends than he did at home.
Derrick and Maria Purcell
I had been a single mom for years and had worked hard raising my girls all alone. I wanted to be “queen of the house” and felt like my king should serve me. I thought I deserved this after doing things for myself and everyone else for so long. I wanted Derrick to do life my way while pampering and spoiling me.
We didn't recognize God in our marriage, but pretended it was perfect when we were in front of our friends or at church. We lived more as roommates and didn't know how to compromise. Working at marriage was foreign to us. We thought since we were Christians, marriage would just work itself out.
Neither of us was willing to budge—we were both very stubborn and selfish.
To make matters worse, our marriage began with three children. They felt that the attention they had received all of their lives was going to someone else. Neither of us anticipated the challenges of a blended family, and we didn’t have the tools to make the situation any better.
After four years of an unhealthy and weak marriage, I heard a radio advertisement for a Weekend to Remember® marriage conference. I thought that we should give it a try. Derrick agreed to attend and told me, “Now you will see that I am right and you are wrong.” And I just knew that “now Derrick will see that he’s the reason our marriage isn’t working.”
An eye-opener
When Derrick and I attended the Weekend to Remember in Hunt Valley, Maryland, we both wanted to make our marriage work. After the sessions on Friday night I thought, Oh, God, this is beautiful. We’re going to work it out.
The conference was an eye-opener for Derrick and me. We learned that we were each other’s gift from God and that the Lord needed to be at the center of our relationship. Although we received so much wonderful information at the Weekend to Remember, we were afraid that things would go back to the way they were when we got home.
A turning point occurred at the conference when we participated in a sample session of the HomeBuilders Couples Series® (FamilyLife’s small group Bible studies). At that point we started getting excited about our future. We had been living a lie for so long, pretending we were happily married. We decided that HomeBuilders was the follow-up that we needed. The study was fun—not intimidating. And we knew that it would give us an opportunity to meet with other couples. When we won a HomeBuilders starter kit at the conference we thought, “This is absolutely from God.”
We started our first HomeBuilders group in May 2007 with some friends. When we told the couples about our struggling marriage they said, “We would never have believed it.” Until that day, we hadn’t shared about the things that we had been going through. We had been ashamed and hadn’t known how to fix our marriage problems until we attended the Weekend to Remember. And then HomeBuilders reinforced what we had learned there.
Derrick and I have facilitated many different HomeBuilders groups in the last two years. As new HomeBuilders directors for the Maryland and Virginia areas, our goal is to spread the word about HomeBuilders, help get groups started, and encourage them to move into other HomeBuilders studies. One couple has joined our team, and they now facilitate sessions on their own. Like us, they are passionate about helping marriages stay strong and healthy through HomeBuilders.
Serving God first
Today Derrick and I know how to laugh together. We know how to strengthen one another. We’ve learned that our marriage is not about me wanting him to make me feel good or about him wanting me to make him feel good. We’ve each had to make the decision to serve God first.
In serving the Lord I’ve learned to serve my husband. I’ve learned to accept Derrick unconditionally and now allow him to be the man of God and the leader of our home that God has called him to be. In doing this I not only gained a husband, but also gained a friend. I had to let go of myself to receive what the Lord had for me.
I’d describe our marriage today as very harmonious. Yes, there are issues from time to time ... there will always be something … but Derrick and I know what to do when those issues come up. We’ve learned that we have to come together when it gets all rough outside and that everything will be okay when we are anchored in Christ.
Sometimes I sit back and think, My God, I cannot believe that we have come this far. Derrick and I were two very strong-willed people who just would not budge. But now we have the tools to make our marriage work. We’ve learned to do marriage God’s way. And we are sharing what we've learned with everyone we meet!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Frequent Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
Who should participate?
The concepts in this study will benefit any couple, whether they are newlyweds, engaged, or have been married for many years.
How many couples make a group?
We recommend from four to seven couples (including you and your spouse). If you have more people interested than you think you can accommodate, consider having someone else host a second group.
If you end up with a large group, consider breaking up into smaller sub-groups at times. This helps you cover the material in a timely fashion, and allows for optimum interaction and participation within the group.
What if one partner of a couple, does not want to participate?
Expect that some people will attend the first session wishing that they were somewhere else. You can dispel a great deal of anxiety and resistance at the first session by mentioning that you know that there are probably some who are attending reluctantly. Say that you are pleased that each person is there regardless of why they came. Briefly comment that you are confident that each person will enjoy the study and will benefit from it—while the commitment to the study is short-term, the potential benefits could last a lifetime. And assure the group that no one will be forced to share publicly if they do not wish to do so.
Should an individual join the group alone?
It is best if a person does not join a HomeBuilders group alone. Learning the principles and seeing everyone else working together on their marriages could cause discouragement and dissatisfaction with the individual’s spouse. This does not mean if a person’s spouse is out of town that they should skip the study, however.
Can a non-Christian participate in a group?
Although the study is targeted for Christians, non-Christian couples can participate. Welcome the non-Christian into your group and seek to get to know him during the early weeks of the study. Sometime during the study, schedule a time to meet with the person or couple privately to explain the principles on which HomeBuilders is built. Talk about what Christ has done in your life, and offer an opportunity to receive Him as Savior and Lord. FamilyLife offers some articles and resources that can help you explain how a person can know God. Many men and women have come to know Jesus Christ through the HomeBuilders Couples Series®.
What is the best setting for meeting?
To create an atmosphere that is friendly and comfortable, a home setting works well. You need to have a place where everyone can sit comfortably and see and hear each other. If your home will not work, see if another couple in the group would be willing to offer their home as your group's meeting place.
What time schedule should be followed?
The material presented in each session is designed for a 90-minute study; however, we recommend a two-hour block of time. This will allow you to move through each part of the study at a more relaxed pace and include time for fellowship or refreshments. Be sure to keep in mind one of the cardinal rules of a small group: Good groups start and end on time. People’s time is valuable, and your group will appreciate your being respectful of this.
What are the ground rules for the study?
· Share nothing that will embarrass your spouse.
· You may pass on any question.
· Complete the project with your spouse prior to each session.
What other things are important to communicate to the group?
It is important that the couples commit to the group, to each other, and to the process of developing oneness in their marriages. They should also be committed to coming to each session and to completing the HomeBuilders Project in between each session.
After introducing HomeBuilders, what should the group decide?
· Meeting nights and times
· Where to meet
· Who will be responsible for refreshments (this is good to rotate after the first meeting)
· Babysitting arrangements, if needed
Who should participate?
The concepts in this study will benefit any couple, whether they are newlyweds, engaged, or have been married for many years.
How many couples make a group?
We recommend from four to seven couples (including you and your spouse). If you have more people interested than you think you can accommodate, consider having someone else host a second group.
If you end up with a large group, consider breaking up into smaller sub-groups at times. This helps you cover the material in a timely fashion, and allows for optimum interaction and participation within the group.
What if one partner of a couple, does not want to participate?
Expect that some people will attend the first session wishing that they were somewhere else. You can dispel a great deal of anxiety and resistance at the first session by mentioning that you know that there are probably some who are attending reluctantly. Say that you are pleased that each person is there regardless of why they came. Briefly comment that you are confident that each person will enjoy the study and will benefit from it—while the commitment to the study is short-term, the potential benefits could last a lifetime. And assure the group that no one will be forced to share publicly if they do not wish to do so.
Should an individual join the group alone?
It is best if a person does not join a HomeBuilders group alone. Learning the principles and seeing everyone else working together on their marriages could cause discouragement and dissatisfaction with the individual’s spouse. This does not mean if a person’s spouse is out of town that they should skip the study, however.
Can a non-Christian participate in a group?
Although the study is targeted for Christians, non-Christian couples can participate. Welcome the non-Christian into your group and seek to get to know him during the early weeks of the study. Sometime during the study, schedule a time to meet with the person or couple privately to explain the principles on which HomeBuilders is built. Talk about what Christ has done in your life, and offer an opportunity to receive Him as Savior and Lord. FamilyLife offers some articles and resources that can help you explain how a person can know God. Many men and women have come to know Jesus Christ through the HomeBuilders Couples Series®.
What is the best setting for meeting?
To create an atmosphere that is friendly and comfortable, a home setting works well. You need to have a place where everyone can sit comfortably and see and hear each other. If your home will not work, see if another couple in the group would be willing to offer their home as your group's meeting place.
What time schedule should be followed?
The material presented in each session is designed for a 90-minute study; however, we recommend a two-hour block of time. This will allow you to move through each part of the study at a more relaxed pace and include time for fellowship or refreshments. Be sure to keep in mind one of the cardinal rules of a small group: Good groups start and end on time. People’s time is valuable, and your group will appreciate your being respectful of this.
What are the ground rules for the study?
· Share nothing that will embarrass your spouse.
· You may pass on any question.
· Complete the project with your spouse prior to each session.
What other things are important to communicate to the group?
It is important that the couples commit to the group, to each other, and to the process of developing oneness in their marriages. They should also be committed to coming to each session and to completing the HomeBuilders Project in between each session.
After introducing HomeBuilders, what should the group decide?
· Meeting nights and times
· Where to meet
· Who will be responsible for refreshments (this is good to rotate after the first meeting)
· Babysitting arrangements, if needed
What is HomeBuilders?
What is HomeBuilders?
The HomeBuilders Couples Series is a small-group Bible study developed by FamilyLife dedicated to making your family all that God intended. Whether you've been married for years or are newly married, this series will help you and your spouse discover timeless principles from God's Word that you can apply to your family.
HomeBuilders Teaches Biblical Principles
· Reveals God's plan for marriage with numerous supporting scriptures
· Teaches more about living and enjoying the Christian life
· Emphasizes practical life applications of biblical principles
· Uses a biblical model for small groups
HomeBuilders is Versatile and Practical to Use
· Offers a diverse selection of topics suitable for couples in any stage of marriage
· Requires a short-term commitment of 4 to 8 weeks and needs no written preparation from group members
· Requires a "facilitator", not an expert Bible teacher, and minimal preparation to lead a group
· Encourages completion of a weekly "HomeBuilders Project", a one hour fun activity and conversation, for couples outside of the group
HomeBuilders Encourages and Strengthens Families
· Spurs conversation between husband and wife
· Provides encouragement and accountability between couples and group participants
· Increases awareness of and participation in further marriage enrichment opportunities
The HomeBuilders Couples Series is a small-group Bible study developed by FamilyLife dedicated to making your family all that God intended. Whether you've been married for years or are newly married, this series will help you and your spouse discover timeless principles from God's Word that you can apply to your family.
HomeBuilders Teaches Biblical Principles
· Reveals God's plan for marriage with numerous supporting scriptures
· Teaches more about living and enjoying the Christian life
· Emphasizes practical life applications of biblical principles
· Uses a biblical model for small groups
HomeBuilders is Versatile and Practical to Use
· Offers a diverse selection of topics suitable for couples in any stage of marriage
· Requires a short-term commitment of 4 to 8 weeks and needs no written preparation from group members
· Requires a "facilitator", not an expert Bible teacher, and minimal preparation to lead a group
· Encourages completion of a weekly "HomeBuilders Project", a one hour fun activity and conversation, for couples outside of the group
HomeBuilders Encourages and Strengthens Families
· Spurs conversation between husband and wife
· Provides encouragement and accountability between couples and group participants
· Increases awareness of and participation in further marriage enrichment opportunities
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